Archive for mystery

The Thread

Posted in Ramblings with tags , , , on January 19, 2016 by The Starry Path

I have been home from work for a week due to a nasty cold. It’s starting to give way now, thankfully, but I’m not out of the woods just yet. 

One thing I have found is that during times of illness (while having been reasonably conscious), when I haven’t been able to focus on studying or work, my mind always tends to gravitate towards Wicca and the Craft. Suddenly I’m back to doing daily devotionals, journaling and what not. It’s like I’m being pulled by this thread attached to my heart and everything settles into what it ought to be. One can not help but wander what would happen if I had more leisure time on my hands. That would be glorious! 

Recently I started thinking about how empty and lacking my life would be without Wicca. I have never seen myself living an ordinary life. I mean ordinary in the sense that you follow a predictable pattern and living by the norm, like getting married, buying a home and raising a bunch of kids that you devote the rest of your life to. I’ve done the first two but that’s where I jokingly draw the line. I’ve never been into kids and am not the motherly type. I can’t see my life evolving around family life in that sense, it’s not the path for me. Not that there’s  anything inherently wrong with it, but I have other dreams, other aspirations. So anyway, without Wicca I wouldn’t enjoy the sense of purpose I now know. It really is the vein of my existence, though it sounds terribly dramatic and perhaps pretentious. But that’s how I feel about my religion. It gives my life meaning. 

When I toss around words like “purpose” and “meaning” I’m not saying that I’ve got it all figured out by any means. I have not singled out my life’s purpose or anything. What I do mean is that I am devoted to mystery. The mystery of being alive in this time and place, the mystery of the gods and to the betterment of my character by their guidance. I guess it’s that simple, and that hard.

  

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PBP: Emptiness – The End of a Cycle

Posted in Pagan Blog Project, Ramblings with tags , , , , on March 4, 2012 by The Starry Path

Lately I´ve felt very ambivalent about my faith. Not whether I should desert it of not, but about my direction. Indeed, I´ve always had a lousy sense of direction! 😉

What I´m feeling is this, and I think most of you can recognize it; I´ve reached somewhat of a plateau, the end of a spiritual cycle. I´ve had approximately two years where I´ve been living far away from my coven. I´ve had to implement my coven training into my personal rites, as a detached solitary. It has been a lot of work, but fun and creative at the same time. I´ve missed working with my coven but felt that the tradition is being somewhat upheld through my practice. I´ve also discovered new ways I like to do things. Therefor, I don´t think that the time apart has been wasted, I have continued on the same path. I have done decisively more ritual these past two years than before, and many of them have been outside, which I thoroughly enjoy.

But now I sense the stirring of something new… I´ve felt a bit frustrated and empty, mixed with a sense of wonder. I feel like I know more, and yet less! How can that be? I think that more and more I have wandered away from Wicca 101 and onto the Mystic´s path, which I think is a natural progress for one dedicated to Wicca which actually is a mystery religion at its core. I´ve let go of the simple images in black and white, and as you can see in my earlier post about deity, that is an area of great indecisiveness!

Wicca 101 is safe, harmless and cute. But if I wanted that, I would rent a movie about penguins! I want the real deal and I want the challenge, growth and yes, mystery. True mystery. I want the transcendent human experience that is the ultimate goal of any spirituality. I don´t want to be fed nonsense, I want to discover for myself, but right now every step is a blindfolded stumble into darkness. One cycle is complete and now I stagger into the next, stripped and innocent.