Archive for December, 2015

“Small” talk

Posted in Ramblings on December 16, 2015 by The Starry Path

It saddens me when I give in to that voice saying that I’m not good enough. It’s so unnecessary and it ends up actually hurting people close to me. Because I get suspicious and I question what they mean by things they say, should I take that as a hidden insult? I get that it gets tiring. But some days I just feel so small and vulnerable and I retire to my shell and can’t think of a reason why someone would like me or would want to spend time with me. I compare myself to my friend’s other friends, who are bubbly, relaxed and fun. I am not those things, most of the time. I am usually guarded, private, intense and reflecting.

I get so frustrated with myself. I just want to connect but I stumble over my own feet, I get in my own way, because very probably it’s all in my head. I think it’s a good thing that I get to confront these feelings and insecurities. If I would close myself off to friendship in fear of getting hurt I would never learn. I am enough. I may have bad days but they don’t reflect my inner worth. I am enough, I am enough, I am enough.

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Rituals

Posted in Ritual on December 6, 2015 by The Starry Path

There have been some intense few weeks of writing rituals. Me and my coven mate has been asigned to co-write this year’s Yule ritual and everyone were also asigned to write an esbat ritual for last Wednesday. I wrote it for the full moon and focused on experiencing the Moon Goddess and strenghtening the ties within the group.

I was a bit nervous showing that ritual. I have been with my coven a little over a year now but we haven’t talked overtly of our private praxis. I have never told anyone exactly what I say or do in ritual but it came through in the one I wrote because I wanted to be genuine. I wanted them to know what I was about at my core. For example, I focus quite heavily on polarity and not everyone’s into that. Thankfully it was well recieved and I got some nice feedback. My high priest didn’t have any recommended alterations and they all thought it was poetic and set the mood very well.

It was lovely to see what all the others had written! There were beautiful things in each and everyone and it sparked my creativity further. It is wonderful to share!

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