PBP: Emptiness – The End of a Cycle

Lately I´ve felt very ambivalent about my faith. Not whether I should desert it of not, but about my direction. Indeed, I´ve always had a lousy sense of direction! 😉

What I´m feeling is this, and I think most of you can recognize it; I´ve reached somewhat of a plateau, the end of a spiritual cycle. I´ve had approximately two years where I´ve been living far away from my coven. I´ve had to implement my coven training into my personal rites, as a detached solitary. It has been a lot of work, but fun and creative at the same time. I´ve missed working with my coven but felt that the tradition is being somewhat upheld through my practice. I´ve also discovered new ways I like to do things. Therefor, I don´t think that the time apart has been wasted, I have continued on the same path. I have done decisively more ritual these past two years than before, and many of them have been outside, which I thoroughly enjoy.

But now I sense the stirring of something new… I´ve felt a bit frustrated and empty, mixed with a sense of wonder. I feel like I know more, and yet less! How can that be? I think that more and more I have wandered away from Wicca 101 and onto the Mystic´s path, which I think is a natural progress for one dedicated to Wicca which actually is a mystery religion at its core. I´ve let go of the simple images in black and white, and as you can see in my earlier post about deity, that is an area of great indecisiveness!

Wicca 101 is safe, harmless and cute. But if I wanted that, I would rent a movie about penguins! I want the real deal and I want the challenge, growth and yes, mystery. True mystery. I want the transcendent human experience that is the ultimate goal of any spirituality. I don´t want to be fed nonsense, I want to discover for myself, but right now every step is a blindfolded stumble into darkness. One cycle is complete and now I stagger into the next, stripped and innocent.

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5 Responses to “PBP: Emptiness – The End of a Cycle”

  1. I know exactly the plateau that you are writing about. I’ve felt it many times myself… but I find if you push through there are so many interesting things on the other side. It’s such a challenge but from speaking to others (and for me it sometimes comes through as overwhelming apathy) it’s a common experience that can be part of one’s spiritual journey.

    Interesting that you say that Wicca 101 is cute. On the surface, it does appear to be so… but I have found that ‘rediscovering’ some parts of beginner’s Wicca can reveal profound meaning. For example, working with the elemental correspondencies- this might be 101 sort of stuff, but the more you delve the more there is to learn and find. So again I sympathise- it seems the more I learn, the less I feel like I know! So frustrating, yet somehow exciting at the same time 🙂

    • Thanks for the comment! My statement about Wicca 101 was a little bit pointed to convey the fluffiness that I often see in books. But you are right, if you can penetrate that surface there is far more underneith. I´m curious to know how many are content with it though? I have no idea. I think there´s many who are not “interested” in Wicca long enough to penetrate it, who drop it before that happens.

      I know precisely what you mean by overwhelming apathy, I´ve had that too. Luckily it´s only a phase, for it is so very disheartening! When it happens, you just gotta hang in there.

      • 🙂 Well speaking for myself I am never content. It seems like too much hard work to go back to basics and really probe them- I’d rather delve into new, exciting stuff most of the time but sometimes I am being ‘hit over the head’ to revisit something I shuffle back with a ‘do I have toooo?’

        That being said if people are really not content it makes perfect sense to move away and onto greener pastures, if that’s where their path leads them.

  2. A very nice post about a relatable topic. I also liked how you changed the font for emphasis.

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